AnneLynne McCord

It's almost midnight and I ate some very crispy things (not very much calories either)... hmm, I don't know what they are..
In Russian they are Баранки (barankas). (Haha, I'm not Russian, but I've learned the language for three years. )

I've seen "90210" show, this new version, and I absolutely adore all people in there. They are everything I want to be - rich, thin, beautiful, popular and smart (mostly).

My favorite there is Naomi Clark (AnneLynne McCord). She is so beautiful and skinny, always smiling, I want to be like her!

Good night everyone!

coffee&chocolate

Here I am again. Sitting and writing and drinking coffee. I have so much to do, but I'm so tired. I think I failed today's math test. I only did two exercises of five, and I afraid even those were wrong. 

Haha, and, I'm living of chocolate. I ate chocolate cereal for breakfast, Kinder chocolate at school, and about ten minutes ago I ate six pieces of dark chocolate. I don't know how many calories exactly, but I hope not very much. Chocolate makes me happy. Ok, not really. I feel good when I'm eating it, but after I feel terrible. 

Shit. 

Why I ate this chocolate?

Okay. Do you know what feels so good? I bought a dress, like half year ago, and then it was very tight (like, I couldn't even breathe, but the dress was so damn pretty) and when I tried it on last week, it was perfect. I felt so powerful that moment. Like, I DO have a control. Amazing. 

I hope you all are fine!

Ninah, you are so sweet!

Lemons, lots of joy, happiness and love to you!

Which one you prefer to be?

Hi girls.

I'm still alive. 

I fasted for two days, and after that I ate for two days. Nonstop. I haven't got much to say... 

I've missed this blog and my dear followers, but when I've gained weight, even if I feel full or I've eaten something, I feel like I don't deserve to be here. 

Past these days I've been between 69.3...71.5 kg. When I'm over 70 I feel so sad and fat. I eat things I don't even like! I kind of forget how good it feels to lose weight. 

I HATE WEEKENDS ! !

Oh... I will never leave this blog or you guys... I try to write every day (it's good for my English too (: ).

I will never forget how good thin feels. 

Btw, I saw a pair of AMAZING white ripped jeans... They were sooooo pretty, but there was only size XXS, XS and S. Should I buy one pair for inspiration?

Different thinspo this time...

One day we can have a candy like this... Inspirational, isn't it :D?

bad day

Hi girls..

I've felt like shit last two days...

I'm very stressed. 

M, stress-eating. 

So much pressure. 

I have a headache, my stomach is hurting (after eating, but I still eat) and I feel like vomiting.

I hope I'll be still under 70 for the end of the week. 

I've said it before, I'm the fattest in our class. These are the girls from my class. Left one is 17-year old, right one 16-year old. It's not the prettiest picture, usually TheLeftOne dresses up very stylishly. But you still can see the difference... I mean, I'm 70 kilos, they're like 50 kilos.

I wish I looked like that:  

And then I could go to my ex-bf and be like: "Don't you regret now, honey?"

I love you,

Be strong!

Thank you & jeans thinspiration!

I was pretty shocked, when I saw that Lemons (Ana, are you there?) had gave me Sunshine award!! It was the sweetest thing in this day :) She was the first one I followed. She listened (my e-mails) when I didn't had nobody else to talk. She answered and made my day with that. Even if we don't talk very often anymore, I feel like she supports me. She's strong and beautiful. This girl is my inspiration.

Also I'd like to thank Mini Me, the sweetest commentator ever! Your comments makes me always happy & stronger! And with her I'm not the only one, who uses kilograms.

Sunshine award: If you recieved an award, you also have to nominate 5 bloggers on your blog and leave a link to me because I nominated you. When you give your nominations for the Sunshine Awards, you have to give a description of why you nominated them and have a link to the nominees' blogs. These are the rules of The Sunshine Awards (I didn't make them). 

Ninah, Pretty thin until summer http://prettythinsummer.blogspot.com/
She's from Germany and I was her first follower. She's like every other girl, and that's why I like her.

Mina Belle, Dreams to be Desired http://dreamstobedesired.blogspot.com
She was one of the first ones I followed. I've read every single post. She's so American, I know it may sound weird to you, but all this prom-stuff and American family-life is so interesting for me :D!

 Holly, Venus Perfection http://venusperfection.blogspot.com/
Super-inspiring. This, how she reached her goal... I want to feel it too (when you're happy with your body). One day I read her blog like for an hour, because her stories were so interesting.

Sarah, they buzz like blue children http://bluechildren.blogspot.com
This girl writes so often that it's crazy! And I love it! It keeps me away from eating.

Meg, Dream thin http://daydreamer416.blogspot.com/

Sweet girl and I love her celebrity thinspirations.

what 69.6?

Hi lovelies!

Remember that awful day I had... Well as you said, I did better on the next day. I had like 150 cals. I was super tired and went to sleep like at 19 o'clock (haha, I never know when it's a.m or p.m, we use 24-hour clock).

So after 10 hours sleeping I was 69.6. I couldn't believe it at all. On the scale. Off the scale. On the scale. Still 69.6. I was like... Umm.. okay, what just happened (I haven't been under 70 for two years!!!). Then I was happy all day and managed to drink only tea & diet cola (I absolutely LOVE it, what's wrong with me). And then came evening... And then came pizza... And then I ate like pizza-pig. But I still stayed under 500 cal I hope. 

And yesterday... oh. It's so easy to not eat at school. But when I reach home, then I'll become a monster. So I had a super delicious pie what I made (but it was with champignones so I hope there wasn't very much calories). And the good thing was I went to jogging after this. 

I feel so powerful, when I haven't eat. You know that feeling - you control everything. I love it. 

So why I ruin it all the time?

Oh, and do you know that feeling too, when you have fasted, and then you eat, and then your stomach will hurt so much? I kind of like it, it's like a punishment for eating. 

 One question: How many calories are in mushrooms? I can't find it anywhere. And how many calories are in this grass what grows under water? (I hate my English right now :D, but I hope you understand what I mean).

FAILURE

Your comments are so sweet, they always make me happy. But when I read them just after fail, then I feel horrible. I feel like I've let you down. 

Yesterday (when I was so happy that I was 70.0 kg), 20 o'clock, I ate potatoes and cake (with CARAMEL and CHOCOLATE) WHERE THE HELL IS MY BRAIN? 

And I was planning to go running, but I didn't! After eating 1000+ cals I just watch TV, I know I fucking deserve to be fat! Why why why I do this to myself?!? And today, I woke up I was 70.7! Yesterday morning the first thing what I taught was: "I'll never be over 70 kgs again" My life is pointless when I'm stuck in that disgusting body. There is a beautiful skinny girl inside me and I just don't let her out! I hate myself!

Okay, as you see I'm little bit upset. 

Today is a hell too. I've eaten so much that I feel bloated. Yesterday my mum ate candies and zephyrs and she gave them to me too, and I ate and ate and ate and after that I yelled at her that she has fed me fat. She said that it's my fault. And yes, it is my fault too, but... 

After that I cried. I cried because I'm fat, my marks aren't as good as they used to be, I fail all the time, boys don't even look at me, I don't fit into clothes what I want to wear, I have three huge rolls on my stomach when I sit... I put on my swimsuit and looked myself in the mirror. I realized that nobody in my class have so big thighs and I have a cellulite. So I cried some more. 

I don't want to even watch any thinspo pictures, because then I will feel even more weak and sad. 

I've fell down and I can't get up.

Coffee

Just came from school. I've eaten about 300 cals today, I hope that I won't eat more.

Good news, I'm finally 70.0!!!

I have to keep it that way and lose more.

You girls keep me going: Raaawr., ccoutlon, xoktqtx3, Kajsa Mooore, Sun-Lit~, Anastasia, Sphinx's sister, If Life Gives You Lemons, Don't Eat Them, sarah, Bl33ding Truth, becky, Ninah and Pretty Thin, thank you!

My next goal is 65 kg. I lose weight so slowly... I've got a list in my phone where are my 'treats' for losing weight. 

There are: 

70-special hair conditioner

69-mascara

68-tank top

67-leggings

66-book

65-bikinis

These are the only things I buy. And I have to be under that weight, like when I'm 69.9 kg then I may buy conditioner. When I reach my final goal, 60 kg, then I'll buy lots of new clothes. 

Have you done this kind of lists? Do they work for you?

I have so much homework to do but I'd rather go out, sleep or watch tv... 

What do you think of laxatives? I've tried them once, and I don't recommend them to anyone. 

And... Does the diet pills really work?

Stay strong ladies! (specially the MNF girls)

Vintage/black&white thinspo, I loooove the last one, Sandra from "Grease".

hmm

Hellohello!

Yesterday was amazing! 

I went to a cafe where were like thousand cakes and muffins and only thing I took was a coffee with sugar substitute! And later I went to my friend's home, her father had made a cake what looked delicccciioousss... and I didn't take a piece of it! 

Okay, one time when I got super tired I ate a piece of pickled cucumber what was about 5 cals. 

Whole day I drank Cocacola zero and tea and that one cup of coffee. 

This morning I was 70.2 kg.(gggrrhh it is so large number). Still not 70.0. 

But today:  small piece of pound cake for breakfast - 70 cals

one pickled cucumber - 5 cals

one piece of dark chocolate - 20 cals

seven pieces of dried pineapple - 100 cals (I really have to stop eating these)

two cups of coffee (with milk) - 50 cals

and tea. 

245 cals. Not bad.

Stay strong!

I love you girls!!!

Ripped jeans thinspo today! I'm in love with the second picture. 

EDIT: Gosh, my family just bring McDonald's food... I'm chewing gum and dieing. I won't eat it. I know I won't. So I came here and changed blog's layout, how do you like it? I think it's cute, but maybe are these strawberries little bit annoying. What do you think?

feeling bad

 Hey darlings

I just came from school.

Today: 

Small breakfast - 100 cal

Apple at school - 60 cal

Bread - 100 cal

5 super small sushi rolls - 100 cal

Pretty good, huh? 

Here's more ;) ! Dried pineapple - 500 cal!

And ice cream!200 cal!

1060 cals 

I won't won't won't eat anymore. 

I won't eat until I'm 70.0 kg. I used to do so in summer, like, 'I will fast until some number'. I think it's better than 'I will fast until Monday' . And tomorrow is Saturday. It means weekend. Weekend=binging=I will stay big fat cow. Not very inspired today. See what food is doing with me? It makes me sad. It makes me hate myself. 

I'm going to clean my room and paint my nails. I hope you all feel better than me! 

Don't you think that these are the cutest thinspos :) ? 

Shorts

Hey, I've been good today, I ate small breakfast (about 150 cals) and drank tea and coffee. I feel inspired, maybe I'm going to fast tomorrow. 

Here's some short jeans thinspo, one of my favorites! 

 I love the first and the last. I wish...

What are your favorite thinspo pictures? 

As you know, I love happy people and tank tops thinspos.