Wednesday

Thank you so much for your comments.

Btw, I think no one of my followers speak my native language...

I visited my friend today, and the doctors said that she is getting better and better. She looks so peaceful and beautiful. It's all so sad. But you can't imagine my happiness, when the doctors told me that they really think that she will be fine. I wish I cold give her strength...

My examinations and graduating are coming. Like there isn't enough stress in my life.

Soon this all will be over. Can't wait.

I want to live my (most of the time) normal life again.

New start... no start.... what ever

You probably think why I haven't wrote for so long time.

My life has been very...

Sad?

One of my best friends got into a car accident. She ...is still in coma.

So. That's why I haven't wrote for few weeks. I have cried my eyes out.

I don't want to talk about this. I can't express myself in English so well also. 

The accident happened on 7th. 

The other thing is that my parents got divorced. Why and why now? At least they're ... always there for me. 

I love you.

Love yourself. 

We are beautiful.

bread&party, 70.5

Scoooooooool is killing me. 

About seven weeks more. 

Every morning I'm so tired, I should sleep more. Not sleeping enough=no energy=(eating too much)=slow metabolism=staying fat. Today wasn't as good as yesterday. I ate about five slices of bread (not that white thing you call bread), three cups of coffee, two cookies and super good rice-kiwi-dessert. I just... got rid of the last one. 

One good thing more about yesterday - I went to aerobics, I was so proud of myself :)

I think I'm going to make some tea for my tummy, I don't feel well. 

I added one thing into my list: I'll go out with a guy, when I'm 65 kg. For me it's so hard to lose weight. Why I can't be like those girls who can eat whatever they want and still stay skinny? 

PARTY thinspo today! Who doesn't love parties?!

Hey. 

School was soooo boring today. So I read a book. A book about rich, high-class, beautiful young people. (You have heard this so many times... I want to be like them). Anyway, when I was sitting in my maths class, stomach grumbling, drinking my diet cola, and reading, I felt like I belong there. In that book. I belong in USA's high school. It wold be totally me - shopping every weekend, having lunch in school with my friends, going to parties and stuff... But this is real life. I'm not rich. I live in Europe. We don't even have cheerleaders, haha. 

Okay, I love Europe, but USA is so... I don't know. Europe is the 'old world'. I love the fashion and the food here, and it's my home, but goosh.., how to explain what I feel... :/

Anyway, today's been good, I've eaten... um, I had about five mouthfuls of yogurt and two cups of coffee. So. Yeah. That's good.

Hope you are having a good day.

Low...

Hey girls.

Not so good today. 

I go like: up and down very up and super down. 

Today I hate myself. I think I will fast next week, and I also think that I won't fail. 

Short post today...

Today's thinspiration are of popular/beautiful/skinny girls. Everybody knows them - they are always pretty and they get all the boys. Sometimes you just hate them.. or get jealous. I've never been like this, but I would like to know what it feels like (to be popular and stuff).

The first picture (girl in yellow top) was my first thinspiration picture ever. 

70.1

Hello my skinnysweetcute girls!

Today I feel great, I don't even know why.

In the morning I went to market and bought some really good green and healthy stuff.

I had thousand cups of coffee, because I didn't sleep very much.

Oh, I haven't mentioned one thing!!!!!! I got into the best school in my town!!!! It's on the second place in our country!!!! It's like... imagine that you get in to the best school... Best feeling ever. Oh... But I have to study A LOT. There is three super hard and stressful years coming. But still. The best school!!

Some black&white thinspo!

AnneLynne McCord

It's almost midnight and I ate some very crispy things (not very much calories either)... hmm, I don't know what they are..
In Russian they are Баранки (barankas). (Haha, I'm not Russian, but I've learned the language for three years. )

I've seen "90210" show, this new version, and I absolutely adore all people in there. They are everything I want to be - rich, thin, beautiful, popular and smart (mostly).

My favorite there is Naomi Clark (AnneLynne McCord). She is so beautiful and skinny, always smiling, I want to be like her!

Good night everyone!

coffee&chocolate

Here I am again. Sitting and writing and drinking coffee. I have so much to do, but I'm so tired. I think I failed today's math test. I only did two exercises of five, and I afraid even those were wrong. 

Haha, and, I'm living of chocolate. I ate chocolate cereal for breakfast, Kinder chocolate at school, and about ten minutes ago I ate six pieces of dark chocolate. I don't know how many calories exactly, but I hope not very much. Chocolate makes me happy. Ok, not really. I feel good when I'm eating it, but after I feel terrible. 

Shit. 

Why I ate this chocolate?

Okay. Do you know what feels so good? I bought a dress, like half year ago, and then it was very tight (like, I couldn't even breathe, but the dress was so damn pretty) and when I tried it on last week, it was perfect. I felt so powerful that moment. Like, I DO have a control. Amazing. 

I hope you all are fine!

Ninah, you are so sweet!

Lemons, lots of joy, happiness and love to you!

Which one you prefer to be?

Hi girls.

I'm still alive. 

I fasted for two days, and after that I ate for two days. Nonstop. I haven't got much to say... 

I've missed this blog and my dear followers, but when I've gained weight, even if I feel full or I've eaten something, I feel like I don't deserve to be here. 

Past these days I've been between 69.3...71.5 kg. When I'm over 70 I feel so sad and fat. I eat things I don't even like! I kind of forget how good it feels to lose weight. 

I HATE WEEKENDS ! !

Oh... I will never leave this blog or you guys... I try to write every day (it's good for my English too (: ).

I will never forget how good thin feels. 

Btw, I saw a pair of AMAZING white ripped jeans... They were sooooo pretty, but there was only size XXS, XS and S. Should I buy one pair for inspiration?

Different thinspo this time...

One day we can have a candy like this... Inspirational, isn't it :D?

bad day

Hi girls..

I've felt like shit last two days...

I'm very stressed. 

M, stress-eating. 

So much pressure. 

I have a headache, my stomach is hurting (after eating, but I still eat) and I feel like vomiting.

I hope I'll be still under 70 for the end of the week. 

I've said it before, I'm the fattest in our class. These are the girls from my class. Left one is 17-year old, right one 16-year old. It's not the prettiest picture, usually TheLeftOne dresses up very stylishly. But you still can see the difference... I mean, I'm 70 kilos, they're like 50 kilos.

I wish I looked like that:  

And then I could go to my ex-bf and be like: "Don't you regret now, honey?"

I love you,

Be strong!