dreams

Every inch of my body hurts. 

I found this... 

This is how I'll look like when I come back from my summerhouse. Seriously, I rather stab myself in the eye with the stiletto heel than continue to be fattest one of my friends.

Almost there..!

I haven't posted in days... I'm so busy all the time! All this graduating: exams, dresses, parties.. :) 

I had exams in maths, Estonian and in English. I was sooo worried about English exam, all this grammar and tenses.. but I did very well, especially the verbal part. 

Last five days I have had a huge headache... nothing helps. I think it's because of the stress.

I have gained few pounds because all of this... but I try to not worry, I have so many other things to worry about. And I'm going to my special place, where I can sunbath, swim and run all day! 

How are things with you? Is there summer yet where you live?

PS. Faith got home!

plans for summer

Heyhey! 

I have an headache, because of the stress or I don't know. I have an exam tomorrow, and yet again, I haven't studied anything.

But some good news! I have decided to go to my grandfather's summerhouse for three (or more) weeks. There is no food stores near there (or anything really), there's a lake where I can swim, sun will shine every day and there's a spring (or fountain or.. how do you call that when crystal clear water comes out of ground?). That's all I need. And when I come back, I will be relaxed, thin and tanned. 

But.. things what I afraid...: 

I'll not going to be 100% well (I'm sick again..)

I'll get so bored that I might come back to town

I'll not going to lose weight

I'll let myself down and won't do what I promised. 

This figure is just perfect.

very gray day

I'm so bored. I feel like an egg in fridge, waiting for cooking. 

Really, I don't have ANYTHING to do. I've cleaned the house, done the laundry, read a book... There's nothing on TV, I've seen every DVD in my house like 1000 times... I should study little bit, but aaahh, I can't. Also, I should exercise or go running, but I have a sore throat.

Please give me some ideas what to do... something reasonable. 

Today my favorite - tank top thinspo. 

68,9!

Hi,

last few days has been boring... Only things I do: sleep, watch movies and drink tea. (oh my god, I feel like I can't speak English at all :D) 

Well, anyway, thanks to my "new lifestyle" I now weight 68.9 ! I last weighted this much like... three years ago. So I'm quite happy! But, I have to keep it down. There is no point, when I lose weight and gain it back (like I always do).

Which one you prefer: real girls thinspo, or models thinspo?
 

I like models thinspos, but not as much as real-life ones. Is is because I think I'll never be like them? I don't know.

Real girl from somewhere - if she can do it, then I can do it. Models - they just are skinny, no matter what. 

What do you think?

About my friend(I'll name her Faith) : I promised to myself, that I won't write about her anymore, but I have to share it. They will try to get her out of it. They said, that they'd had these kind of cases before, and they think that they will be successful. (I heard it from Faith's mother).

Leggings thinspiration!

I don't feel like talking today.

Hope you are okay!

70.1

Hello my skinnysweetcute girls!

Today I feel great, I don't even know why.

In the morning I went to market and bought some really good green and healthy stuff.

I had thousand cups of coffee, because I didn't sleep very much.

Oh, I haven't mentioned one thing!!!!!! I got into the best school in my town!!!! It's on the second place in our country!!!! It's like... imagine that you get in to the best school... Best feeling ever. Oh... But I have to study A LOT. There is three super hard and stressful years coming. But still. The best school!!

Some black&white thinspo!

AnneLynne McCord

It's almost midnight and I ate some very crispy things (not very much calories either)... hmm, I don't know what they are..
In Russian they are Баранки (barankas). (Haha, I'm not Russian, but I've learned the language for three years. )

I've seen "90210" show, this new version, and I absolutely adore all people in there. They are everything I want to be - rich, thin, beautiful, popular and smart (mostly).

My favorite there is Naomi Clark (AnneLynne McCord). She is so beautiful and skinny, always smiling, I want to be like her!

Good night everyone!

Hi girls.

I'm still alive. 

I fasted for two days, and after that I ate for two days. Nonstop. I haven't got much to say... 

I've missed this blog and my dear followers, but when I've gained weight, even if I feel full or I've eaten something, I feel like I don't deserve to be here. 

Past these days I've been between 69.3...71.5 kg. When I'm over 70 I feel so sad and fat. I eat things I don't even like! I kind of forget how good it feels to lose weight. 

I HATE WEEKENDS ! !

Oh... I will never leave this blog or you guys... I try to write every day (it's good for my English too (: ).

I will never forget how good thin feels. 

Btw, I saw a pair of AMAZING white ripped jeans... They were sooooo pretty, but there was only size XXS, XS and S. Should I buy one pair for inspiration?

Different thinspo this time...

One day we can have a candy like this... Inspirational, isn't it :D?

bad day

Hi girls..

I've felt like shit last two days...

I'm very stressed. 

M, stress-eating. 

So much pressure. 

I have a headache, my stomach is hurting (after eating, but I still eat) and I feel like vomiting.

I hope I'll be still under 70 for the end of the week. 

I've said it before, I'm the fattest in our class. These are the girls from my class. Left one is 17-year old, right one 16-year old. It's not the prettiest picture, usually TheLeftOne dresses up very stylishly. But you still can see the difference... I mean, I'm 70 kilos, they're like 50 kilos.

I wish I looked like that:  

And then I could go to my ex-bf and be like: "Don't you regret now, honey?"

I love you,

Be strong!

Thank you & jeans thinspiration!

I was pretty shocked, when I saw that Lemons (Ana, are you there?) had gave me Sunshine award!! It was the sweetest thing in this day :) She was the first one I followed. She listened (my e-mails) when I didn't had nobody else to talk. She answered and made my day with that. Even if we don't talk very often anymore, I feel like she supports me. She's strong and beautiful. This girl is my inspiration.

Also I'd like to thank Mini Me, the sweetest commentator ever! Your comments makes me always happy & stronger! And with her I'm not the only one, who uses kilograms.

Sunshine award: If you recieved an award, you also have to nominate 5 bloggers on your blog and leave a link to me because I nominated you. When you give your nominations for the Sunshine Awards, you have to give a description of why you nominated them and have a link to the nominees' blogs. These are the rules of The Sunshine Awards (I didn't make them). 

Ninah, Pretty thin until summer http://prettythinsummer.blogspot.com/
She's from Germany and I was her first follower. She's like every other girl, and that's why I like her.

Mina Belle, Dreams to be Desired http://dreamstobedesired.blogspot.com
She was one of the first ones I followed. I've read every single post. She's so American, I know it may sound weird to you, but all this prom-stuff and American family-life is so interesting for me :D!

 Holly, Venus Perfection http://venusperfection.blogspot.com/
Super-inspiring. This, how she reached her goal... I want to feel it too (when you're happy with your body). One day I read her blog like for an hour, because her stories were so interesting.

Sarah, they buzz like blue children http://bluechildren.blogspot.com
This girl writes so often that it's crazy! And I love it! It keeps me away from eating.

Meg, Dream thin http://daydreamer416.blogspot.com/

Sweet girl and I love her celebrity thinspirations.