Weird

Hi-hi!

My life has been crazy - in a good way.

First weeks in a new school, new people, my dancing classes, boyfriends... but last weekend everything just... I don't know what happened. I would say - usually I'm smiling, enthisiastic, jovial; I love to be like this. Even if I don't have a reason to be happy. I just think: I don't have a reason to be unhappy either. 

But, yeah, last weekend. Remember my maybe-boyfriend? Well he become my really-boyfriend. And I broke up with him. I'm not sad or anything. It's little bit selfish to say, but I felt myself smarter than him (even when he's four years older than me), and it wasn't interesting to talk with him. So, that was Friday. 

On Saturday, I went out with one guy who likes me (I liked him too...until I saw his friend). So I couldn't stand him at all. Damn, when I write it down, I sound like some girl who can't be without guys attention. But I'm not that kind of girl, it only looks like this (well that sounded unconvincing :D). Whatever. But the evening was very boring. That was weird. It made me sad, because I need interesting and crazy Saturday nights, otherwise school/routine would kill me.

And yesterday I did nothing. I was in my bed almost all day long, watching pictures of Leighton Meester, and a movie "Coyote Ugly". And ate a cake what I made (for 10th day in 10th month in a 2010th year). 

I know this.. thing.. I don't know how to say it.. mess, confusion or whatever won't last forever. 

There is a most important week coming in school - there are all these tests coming, I have to work so hard.

I think I will write more about my personal life than weight. I hope you are not dissapointed.

third day of school

 I just came from school. 

I had to come straight to Blogger, otherwise I'd eaten all the ice-cream from the fridge. 

So. High school isn't that bad, but it's crazy how much we have to study! We have a thousand lessons every day and all those tests and homework... next week I'll be dead, really. But I'm going to best school, so if I survive these three years, then I can go to anywhere.

At the moment I'm drinking cocoa (without sugar) and listen to music... waiting for my family to come home. 

Oooo, have I already told you that I (think I) have a boyfriend! But, of course, he lives in another town... but he's gorgeus. I hope it'll work out. 

Oh boy, this computer doesn't underline words that have a mistake in them, so I might write weird things. But you understand, that I don't speak English and bla-blah..

By the way, I have no idea how much I weight!

hot cocoa

Heyhey!

So today is Monday, new day, new week and fresh start, like always. Yesterday I ate a lot, but at the evening I went running and did some exercises while watching a movie.

My mum got this step-counter thing. Her boyfriend gave it to her, said that she needs to lose weight. When my mum said it to me, I was like.... what the hell. My mum is like a normal mother, 175 cm and weights about 75 kg. And she has three children! I'd like to punch this man into face, he's not perfect either.

But anyway, this step-counter (is it a pedometer?) has a calorie-count mode too. And I don't know, does it lies or show's the truth, but it seems like I have to walk about a kilometer to lose 10 kcals. 

Today I try not eat anything, I feel like my body doesn't need it. I feel like there's garbage and poison in my body. This feeling goes away when I drink lot of tea and water for few days.

Uuuh, my English is rusty... summer holidays. 

Hellllooooo I'm not dead!

dreams

Every inch of my body hurts. 

I found this... 

This is how I'll look like when I come back from my summerhouse. Seriously, I rather stab myself in the eye with the stiletto heel than continue to be fattest one of my friends.

su su sssummer

Hello girls!!

I haven't wrote in uuhh.. hundred years. I just wanted to say that I'm not dead or something. It's just a very busy time for me. My summer has just started, school is finally over and summer here is so super short so I try to enjoy it. When I go to high school (only two months!)  I'll not going to be the fat one sitting alone in front of the blackboard. I will be pretty and thin hanging around in my size XS Levi's jeans (what I just bought for inspiration).

In high school:

1. Good marks 2. Social life 3. Enough sleep

... you can only pick two, haha.

Dear Fronki,
you seem to be a girl just like me! I would love to write to each other and stuff, but as you saw, in the summer I'm quite busy... 
I would love to follow and comment your blog!
Lots of sunshine,
Rose

Should I do some photos of myself before I go to my summer home? And then I could compare like 'before and after' ?

I hope you all enjoy the summer and lose much more weight than me!

Graduating today....!! Uuuuh I hope I'll fit into my dress! 

Nervous. 

Almost there..!

I haven't posted in days... I'm so busy all the time! All this graduating: exams, dresses, parties.. :) 

I had exams in maths, Estonian and in English. I was sooo worried about English exam, all this grammar and tenses.. but I did very well, especially the verbal part. 

Last five days I have had a huge headache... nothing helps. I think it's because of the stress.

I have gained few pounds because all of this... but I try to not worry, I have so many other things to worry about. And I'm going to my special place, where I can sunbath, swim and run all day! 

How are things with you? Is there summer yet where you live?

PS. Faith got home!

plans for summer

Heyhey! 

I have an headache, because of the stress or I don't know. I have an exam tomorrow, and yet again, I haven't studied anything.

But some good news! I have decided to go to my grandfather's summerhouse for three (or more) weeks. There is no food stores near there (or anything really), there's a lake where I can swim, sun will shine every day and there's a spring (or fountain or.. how do you call that when crystal clear water comes out of ground?). That's all I need. And when I come back, I will be relaxed, thin and tanned. 

But.. things what I afraid...: 

I'll not going to be 100% well (I'm sick again..)

I'll get so bored that I might come back to town

I'll not going to lose weight

I'll let myself down and won't do what I promised. 

This figure is just perfect.

very gray day

I'm so bored. I feel like an egg in fridge, waiting for cooking. 

Really, I don't have ANYTHING to do. I've cleaned the house, done the laundry, read a book... There's nothing on TV, I've seen every DVD in my house like 1000 times... I should study little bit, but aaahh, I can't. Also, I should exercise or go running, but I have a sore throat.

Please give me some ideas what to do... something reasonable. 

Today my favorite - tank top thinspo.